I WILL NOT LOSE....

ok...well ive been raised in church my whole life...my moms super in to church. and living with her i had no choice but to go...i know alot about what the bible says and what god wants us to do.but i never really listened; cuz i guess i wasnt ready to follow the "rules"...i was to busy having "FUN"...but when i was younger up until a couple months ago...i was soooo angry with my dad. my mom. bad relationships & just life itself....even with GOD at one point in time...i felt like i had nobody. nobody cared. and i just went cold. it was all about me. im not following nobodys rules.im not worrying about nobody. eff everybody & the world...i basically turned my back on god...i felt like even he didnt care...in my mind i was like...if god cared me and my dad would have a healthy relationship. my mom wouldnt be struggling the way she was. he wouldnt have taken away the closest ppl to me...blah blah blah but whats crazy was that even tho i turned my back on him. he never turned his on me...he was still protecting me. keeping me. and even speaking to me...one day i went to this youth service my friend invited me to...and the preacher was speaking to me. telling me what god wants me to do & the things i needed to do in order to..i guess you can say free of the pain and anger i was feeling...so i did it....& put GOD first COMPLETELY...not just saying it but doing it...and everything ive put my mind too has been successful...im happy all the time...& ive learned that while i was busy pleasing ppl...i shouldve been tryna please GOD...because in reality he's all that matters.....& life has just been AMAZING...

I realize now, that if i always have god on my side
iWIN =)

-Artisha Ivey

I WONT GIVE UP...

so last night i cried my self to sleep

& today im suuuuuper emotional

what the heck is in the air ???

or maybe i just could no longer

hold those emotions inside =/

ever felt like no matter how hard you try

nothing seems to work the way you'd like them to

i mean even when you understand that things are going

to happen when God wants them to & how God wants them to

but still frustrates me though...

the fact that for most people i come in contact

with; its easier to give money then it is to give LOVE

from

family--->to<---friends

:(

it hurts knowing that i give my all

EVERYTiME; only to get less than half

of someone...

but its ok; im going through a storm

now. but in the end ill see a rainbow :)

basically; DONT EVER GiVE UP

im thankful that i have God on

my side; he said he will never leave

nor forsake me. so i know if i have

no one i'll have my heavenly father.

in this world of temporary love

"God is all i'll ever need"

his love is everlasting.

-when your feeling down; look to God

to cheer you up, comfort you, hold you,

encourage you, look to him for EVERYTHING :)

PUSH...pray until something happens

(God hears you)

-Artisha Ivey

BRANDNEW

i just have to share this with you guys...

i know ive been m.i.a. but ive been working

on some things; & Gods been working on Me

b u s y. b u s y. b u s y

IM A NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST

SO YES; EVERYTHING IM DOING

IS BRANDNEW...

man; GOD is soooo good

i moved back with my mom

bcuz alot of things were going on

where i was; & God had been dealing with

me for awhile about staying with her for a minute

but ofcourse i kept running... finally i listened :)

anyways;

i started going to this church call

"Passion for Christ Movement" {P4CM}

and OMG; its changed my life tremendously

THANK GOD HE SENT ME THERE

but ive changed so much...

i always talked about God & how good he was

yadah. yadah. yadah

but in No; way. shape. or form

was i living it...yes; i WAS a HYPOCRITE

talking the talk; but no walking involved

BUT...im the EX-HYPOCRITE now

i literally went cold turkey on SIN

no more parties, drinking, boasting, being prideful...

& the list goes on !!

& im not saying im PERFECT

bcuz im far from that

but it finally hit me...

i was claiming to love Christ BUT

i was loving EVERYTHiNG he hates

{your either HOT or your COLD}

theres NO in between

NEVER AGAiN;

will i take CHRIST DYiNG on the Cross

for my sins Lightly...

the WORLD is NOT worth me losing

my soul over; at all

everything is only temporary anyway

i can go on 4 days...but ill end it hear

this just goes to show that

JESUS SAVES...

oh; & you dont think Christ exsist

well i can get into that discussion too :)

-Artisha Ivey

MY TESTIMONY...

it a working progress...

im taking my time & allowing God to takeover

{His words, His will...Not mine}

i use to love her/ speaking of the world mother nature/

i use to fein for her approval/her affection/

but everything she stands for makes me sick/

cuz everything she stands for is just so wicked/

i thought i needed her to feel this void/

but everything of the world i thought was it/ did nothing

but destroy my soul/ bit by bit/ im at the end this is it/

i have nothing to show but bruises and scares from our relationship/

and i know she wants me back/ but i refuse/

i refuse to go back to the/

drinkin/ the partyin/ ol dudes lips & his whips/

because all i can see is

that whip that split and slit Christ back they ripped/

and its a shame/ cuz

im the one responsible for his pain/

every time i lied to him/ Lord i swear

this is the last time/ Lord i swear ill never lie, drink, or fornicate again/

basically i just put the nails through his hands/

and i must admit it became a habit/

he was the one i called on ONLY when i needed help/

so i might as well have finished the job myself/

put the nails in his feet/ the thorns in his head/

doing it repeatedly making sure he was dead/

but you see even that didnt matter to me/

as long as on Sundays people thought i was free/

or as long as on sundays i was "acting like the woman God created me to be"/

the Eve to his Adam/ the woman of his land/

but i was more focused on finding

that fairytale love/ walking hand and hand on the sand/ when truth be told/

the love that i needed died long ago/

for the exact same sins that can

call you right now and you'd be ready to go/ the sad part is/

i said i would NEVER FIT IN/

but the only thing that set me apart were the fits that i was in/

i thought that i was the one who deserved praise/

taking the price that was paid

for granted/ living like i was the only one who didnt deserve HELL/

to be continued....

-Abstract